Sunday, April 19, 2015

Looking forward to my annual taxi driver drug test.

Someone once said that passing a drug test is like taking an I Q test. I believe that those words were first uttered by a high ranking official of the New York City Fire Department, though while that's what I recall I haven't been able to track down the origins of the quote on the internet.

Anyhow, I just scheduled my annual taxi driver drug screen mandated by the taxi driver licensing authorities. Yes, every year I schedule this test that I am mandated to take within thirty days of my licences' anniversary date. This means that unless I am a totally out of control drug addict and or very stupid I ought to be able to refrain from using cannabis for five weeks, especially considering the fact that I'm the one who schedules the urine screen with thirty days of leeway. Were I a casual abuser of cocaine and or opiates like heroin I'd have to refrain from using the drug for all of 72 hours, hours of my own choosing. So, I'm glad that hundreds of New York City taxi and livery drivers flunk the test every year. Those who flunk are either totally out of control drug addicts or really, really dumb. In New York City Uber drivers are licensed by the Taxi and Limousine Commission just like any other taxi or livery drivers are.

I can't vouch for the efficacy of any substance or regimen touted as enabling an individual to cheat any drug screen. The young stoner who made the video I feature here swears by the consumption of cranberry juice and exercise. I take no responsibility for anyone who tries to cheat any drug screen. Abstinence from the use of unlawful drugs is what I practice and advocate.

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