Saturday, September 5, 2015

Uber always needs another Goober.
I don't know if I should call him "Goober" or "The Goober." He's one of the taxi drivers who quit the bullshit at the garage and signed a sub prime car lease so he could go work for Uber, be his own boss, work when he wants to, spend more time with his family, yadda yadda yadda. He came by the garage the other morning looking for a half shift of work in a yellow taxi. Now since so many drivers went either to drive green taxis or Uber, the management of the garage was glad enough when he drove onto the lot in the little black prius that he pays $400 a week rent for. I couldn't help but ask Goober why he's looking for a half shift in a yellow taxi. Isn't he driving for Uber after all ?

Well, he tells me, he's making it with Uber just fine, but he has to pay the car lease and that cuts into the money he's making. Also Uber takes a dollar from each fare plus 25%. Aside from that stuff, he's making it. It's just that his wife had made hotel reservations for the holiday weekend without consulting him, so he's a bit short. He said he has to teach his wife not to make plans for him without his okay.  I said "uh huh" and went back to reading Guardian on line, and eating my morning meal al fresco at one of the picnic tables they have in the yard because Goober was talking Uber cult gibberish. I mean why rent out a yellow taxi for half shifts while you're paying a weekly $400 for a little black Prius whether or not you're working and no matter what you are making or not making.

 It must be great being one's own boss, just like Goober.

Speaking of Goobers, one Uber driver who is nobody's Goober makes videos and gets commissions from Uber/Goldman Sachs for roping Goobers in. He calls himself +UberMan on Google+ plus and You Tube. I have to hand it to this guy. He could probably sell.any lie or exaggeration to thousands of Goobers who are just dying to get played, splayed, flayed and flambed by Uber, or for that matter by anyone who exudes self confidence, or charisma. So +UberMan has enough of a conscience (or he knows his Goobers all too well) to tell them flat out that Uber lures its Goobers to come out to drive by making false representations that the fares the Goobers will collect is higher than what they're going to receive in reality.

I am a student of the human condition and I have realized that there are millions of people who really want to get Ubered: played, flayed, splayed and flambed by whosoever. That's the true secret of Uber.


  1. Uberman is a bit of a youtube standout because he seems to actually have some sort of a script worked out and speaks to it rather than some mindless ramble.

    1. This guy's no amateur. He's one salesman/hypnotist.